Time, Mistake & Truth
Saturday, November 25th, 2006Time. I met up with a few friends at the mall last November 12, a Sunday. The original plan was for the whole group to go to Cavite City’s fiesta as Jhing
had invited us which supposed to be our general meeting to finalize our
November hangout. But when a few friends responded to me that they cannot come for personal reasons or they might be late while some have not really given a damn, I decided to have a sudden change of plan. I hooked up with Sheena (my devoted church choir cousin/friend), Gladys (my most loyal friend) and Rodel (celebrating his second ‘monthsary’ with his friend) to go to GST instead that night. Gladys and I went together to the mall to kill some time while waiting for Sheena’s choir engagement to end and since Rodel and his ‘friend’ were also at the mall already, we can all leave there together. After being a willing shopping partner for Gladys, hurting our feet wandering at the mall, and just when I thought we were about to go… Rodel expressed some hint of uncertainty about the plan. His ‘friend’ was kinda feeling dizzy (which I jokingly suspected to have been pregnant), they needed to leave. Gladys and I understood the predicament, and Sheena agreed through a text message that we should just not continue the plan and just go home instead. Before Rodel left, out of another disappointment, I told him to take the responsibility of putting together our November group date and that I won’t have any participation on the planning anymore and he agreed. About two weekends have passed (last weekend of November), and I’m still a lonely desperate friend realizing that yes time may heal wounds… but time can wound friendships too.
Mistake. Getting a haircut is not one of my favorite activities to do. I remember in high school and college how I end up dealing with the abominable security guards because they won’t let me in the campus for my hair was long. I was simply too lazy to go to a barber shop or salon and somehow I’m anxious how my new hairstyle would affect my self-esteem that I get a haircut just when the need arises. I recently went to a popular salon inside a mall to get my haircut done there once again. The service was simply the best this time (they massage your head and back while waiting for your preferred hairstylist) but the haircut I ended up getting was just the worst (and my family members agreed). I was hoping to exit the salon looking like a young professional, but it turned out to be my military man alter-ego. My hair was just shaved so thin that when it’s wet one could see how white my head skin is. I made a mistake of choosing the hairstyle perhaps and becoming passive to what the cutter was doing, so I didn’t really complain and just said to myself that I just have to deal with it. After all, it was one of those mistakes that we don’t have power to undo… but a mistake we wish we won’t redo in the future.
Truth. I’ve been getting some comments again about my thinness. One time I was ‘AIMing’ with a ‘not-so-liked’ ex-officemate to inquire about my training schedules and I can’t believe how out of the topic she popped a blunt message saying a ‘not-close-to-me’ employee refers to me as the ‘mapayat’. As if this ‘not-so-liked’ ex-officemate is the healthiest woman on earth where in reality she’s just as ‘payat’ as I am. And for the benefit of the ‘not-close-to-me’ employee and other people who thinks I am thin and unhealthy, my physique has something to do with genetics because everyone in my family is thin. I may not eat much vegetables and fish like healthy people do, I may not have an appetite of a sumo wrestler, but I eat a lot in a day and I am becoming a desperate junk food person again (love Sour Glow Worms and Cheetos). It’s just that I have such a fast metabolism or maybe it has something to do with me taking Xenical as vitamins (as I jokingly told Rakelli, a high school friend I recently saw and chat with on my way to work after several years, who commented that I was thinner this time). I couldn’t help but wish I was invisible every time people would make these comments about my thinness but then you can’t blame them for saying what’s true. Sometimes, truth when told by other people really hurts our ego, more than accepting the truth to ourselves.
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