j a n s e n. i. s. m.

I came across with a former training colleague, Oliver, as I was exiting our office building one late afternoon. He gave me that big smile, and he was quick to notice my new item — a black medium-sized Girbaud messenger bag I bought at 10% off some two weeks ago already. I did not claim nor deny the bag and as I bid bye to Oliver, I realized that I failed to acknowledge the new thing about him since our previous meeting. He now has braces on his teeth and I thought, that with the amount of money he spent on the metal piece, he could afford a complete Girbaud outfit good for one week. But seriously, unless one is excessively rich, who would spend that much for clothes? What Oliver didn’t pay attention to was the clothes I was wearing: the powder blue long sleeve shirt which was very first long sleeve shirt I own and has some rust colored marks at the back yet I still like wearing. While the pinstripe slacks I had on was not my favorite slacks because it is too loose and made me appear like I had nothing behind.

This brought me to reflect on some of my humble style and rules through the years:

• When I was a kid, most of the clothes I wear are: a.) clothes someone else bought for me and I was forced to wear and did not complain b.) clothes that were handed down by my older brother or cousins.

• I embraced the so-called ‘branded’ clothes in high school. It was in sophomore year when I bought my first Bench t-shirt from a ‘boutique’, it was brown, size S, looked vintage and on sale. I wore it proudly during the distribution of our report cards but when put side by side to the rich and the popular ones in school, I still look half as good as them and so trying hard.

• When I was a junior, a classmate challenged me by asking how to pronounce the brand “T-O-M-M-Y H-I-L-F-I-G-E-R”. I was good in English class but I make some pronunciation mistakes every now and then and I was not spared when I pronounced it “Tomi Hilfayer”. Since then, I was able to save myself from mispronouncing Lacoste, Marithe Francois Girbaud, Hermes, Louis Vuitton, Versace, Gucci and Dolce & Gabanna in public.

• Christmas party (not Prom) in high school is what I considered the red carpet event of the school year. I didn’t have preferences until junior year and on my senior year, I went to the party in gray polo with a collar you can wear two ways and with zippers on the side over a plain blue shirt. I was dancing with a group of friends when I spotted the same gray polo on another guy, younger than me. Then just like that, the plain blue shirt saved me.

• Come college, where competition was more serious and we are allowed to wear casual clothes on Wednesdays and Saturdays, I tried to be unique. I bought clothes that are casual and comfortable but would save me from the humiliation of bumping into another college student wearing the same design as I am. Thankfully, most of the time, I succeeded.

• I learned how to make a tie in college from a friend. A few times, I wore a tie unconventionally by tucking its tail in the space between the buttons of a stripe-printed long sleeve dress shirt to make it look preppy cool. I managed to be different, I never saw someone having that style in school. A college instructor commented that the whole get-up looked very “That’s Entertainment” as if I have a variety show to host after class. This coming from someone who’s content to wearing loose T-shirt and casual denims, I took the comment lightly.

• When a store goes on SALE, I am easily tempted to go inside with high hopes to leave with paper bag on one hand. However, I am easily disappointed when I find out that the ones I like but the size I have are no longer in stock. It’s such a shame that not a lot of store has XS sizes for men here.

• I don’t usually buy by impulse. Like the new bag I have, I saw it in a Girbaud store several months ago but had second thoughts buying it since I still was enjoying my backpack which I bought in the same store. One time, on a service vehicle on my way home with my friend Sarita, there was a college student who owns such bag. It didn’t really look good on him I thought, or maybe I was just jealous that he has it. Months later, the Girbaud bag and I crossed path again. It was still on sale and I badly needed retail therapy then, so I got it and went home a few bucks poorer.

The Girbaud bag reminded me that when I started working, I spent more money on clothes and accessories but still felt guilty when I spend too much. I would fit clothes on nice stores and found myself insecure when I look at myself at the mirror because I’m too thin. I realized that to really look good you have to be really rich to afford the labels and follow the fad, and you have to be comfortable in your own skin and with the amount of ass you have. Nonetheless, I get by and I am not a fan of fakes.